Dinoshark (2010)

Dinoshark (2010)

So having had a lot of free time recently I have been watching a lot of monster/horror movies. The low budget ones that try so hard to be cool but are at the end of the day rubbish. When I say rubbish I am not saying these films are bad, unwatchable or stupid. They are basically harmless fun. I can while away hours (in-between my science experiments) watching these films.

There are a few ways you can tell if you are watching a so-bad-its-good cheap monster movie.

1) Its filmed in Canada or Mexico,

 2) You have seen that stock footage somewhere else (more on that in the review!)

 3) You recognise most of the actors as – ‘oh looks that’s him/her from that thing’

4) The writer, director and star are usually the same person (see Night of the Templar - 2012)

5) The rest of the cast are related in some way to the director/writer/star/runner….

You may think that I am being a harsh Pig today, I love these films with a passion for just these reasons. These are films made not too make millions but for love. Some of my best movie experiences have been watching a low budget badly cgi’d monster devouring hapless human victims (I balk at Guineas being slaughtered that’s harsh!)

And so on to my review! And this film covers a few of the points mentioned above-

 Dinoshark (2010). Firstly there was a major reason I decided to watch this… Eric Balfour. I am somewhat fond of this human and his acting career to date. He was in the first season of Buffy, he turned up in a short lived sci-fi/fantasy series Veritas (which I remember fondly from when I was a mere pup) and more recently he has been in the slow starting but ultimately exceptional Haven. Secondly its about a Shark, a Dinoshark.

The monster is as you would have guessed by now is Dinoshark. We find out that this creature has been frozen as an egg for thousands of years - but because of you humans desire to destroy your own world - global warming has set him free. A few years later he appears in Mexico (look closely and tell me how many establishing shots of Mexico you can spot that were also used in Sharktopus, answer-most of them) and decides to start taking bites out of tourists, locals and helicopters. Cue the hero Trace (Eric Balfour) a drifter of sorts who comes back to Mexico to make his fortune. All the locals know him and on the most part like him except Calderon (which is never really explained...) the new harbour master and local cop (I didn’t know you could be both…). The heroine is Carol (Iva Hasperger) and she is a PhD marine biologist type who just so happens to teach water volleyball (and yes there is a shark Vs young volleyball team scene). So hero and heroine unite to warn the local population about the crazy dinoshark but to no avail (typical!). Will the stop the shark in time? Will Calderon stop being a tool and help? Will anyone use the ‘we need a bigger [insert vehicle]’ quote? (And btw they do, and it’s pretty awesome, in a goofy way).

I have to say that the Dinoshark looks pretty awesome. The effects although they look a bit cheap actually stand up to a bit of scrutiny. He’s got rather wicked frown and looks pretty dangerous. Acting and actors are all pretty well cast. Balfour as the laid back hero Trace is a good choice with his hipster-ish coolness (and awesome tats, if only I as a Pig could get a tat) Iva Hasperger as Carol is the usual blonde, sexy scientist type but she does look a little lost sometimes, especially when acting against a green screen or a tennis ball on a stick or whatever they used when the shark was going to cgid later. Calderon is a good mix of whiny, stupid, slimy and ultimately forgivable and I quite like him. There is also an awesome cameo from Roger Corman (My Geek- pig senses were tingling when he turned up!) he appears as a kind of prehistoric shark genius. He can't act his way out of a paper bag but then that never stopped Stan Lee.

Overall this is a fun prehistoric romp with some likable characters and some good effects. And did I mention it has a Dinoshark in it?

Best bits –
Slow Mo grenade toss shark-Leap (Trace literally jumps the shark...)
‘We’re going to need a bigger helicopter’
The rocket launder that took a lot of effort to get is forgotten in favour of a tiny grenade…

Trunkysbun

http://trunkysbun.wordpress.com/


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Tasmanian Devils (2012)

 

 

Watched 12 Jan 2012

So first my first review I have chosen, or rather I have stumbled across Tasmanian Devils (2012). The blurb told me that this would be a rather entertaining romp involving lab Tasmanian Devils accidentally released chomping on some unsuspecting skydivers. Alas The blurb lied to me. First they aren't skydivers d'uh, they are Base jumpers. Also these critters are not from some crazy docs lab (such as my fine establishment). Its a rather wishy washy idea that these are conjured monsters due to accidental human sacrifice (don't you hate it when that happens).

So firstly we shall look at the monsters themselves as without them the film is nothing. Rather cute looking fellas in my opinion. A kind of cross between the hell hounds from ghostbusters and a crocodile. I like the idea of these creatures being mythical and summoned by the locals to get rid of unwanted invaders. I was also quite excited (as excited as learnt Pig of science like myself can be) that these creatures were almost impossible to kill. Unfortunately this falls a little flat when the the puppys die pretty easily and quickly... *sigh* can't have everything right? Also the stupidity of the Devils confuses me, they are attracted to loud noises (and who isn't?) but no mention is made of them being blind, that's because they aren't. But they walk two feet away from a sobbing female of the human variety (in plain sight I might add) and don't see her until her radio begins to crackle. Bit of a weak plot device in a vain attempt to amp up a bit of tension in a rather lack luster affair...

So on to the films story itself. As with all 'produced by syfy' films you have to watch with out any pretencions of Oscar worthy material. Don't get this Prof wrong! I love a good syfy production! This I will have to admit was OK compared to some I have seen (Snowmageddon 2011 being the worst I have seen recently). The acting is pretty mediocre, Danica McKellar (Alex) spends most of the film looking either cross or confused. So much so that I was confused to whether she was actually supposed to be cross or confused. Kenneth Mitchell as Jayne ('like the girl' quips Alex at one point, I'd like to see her say that to the hero of Canton!) is a rather strange choice for the tough handsome lead. He is a rather awkward shambling man and mostly looks a bit embarrassed to be there. So to the rest of the cast it feels like a bit of politically correct box ticking exercise. They are forgettable and inevitably lunch for a Tasmanian Devil.

Overall its provides a few laughs. We're not so much  laughing with it but at it, in its face while slapping it on the shoulder telling it, it tried really hard and that's what matters right? But in the end its a bit of a damp squib.

I recommend watching with others possibly after a beer or 12.

Best Bit - the 'tough' character throwing an empty gun at the devil in a panic then a few scenes later throwing his sunglasses too. Damage to the Devil was minimal, unsurprisingly....